The Middle of the Bed

A few days ago, I was looking for a poem series I had been working on before we moved, so I was rooting around in what I call “The Mine.” The Mine consists of  journals that I have used and notes I have taken (writing is a messy business for me). The Mine is where I hope that I can find nuggets of gold or little sparkly diamonds to use in future work.

Well, as I was walking through The Mine this morning, I came across this entry:

MWF

3:50   Rise

4-5   Gym

5-5:30   Shower

5:30-6:30   Write

6:30-7:30 Breakfast, laundry, pets, etc.

No diamonds or gold in this schedule – just insanity. Unless one has a job or an illness that requires one to rise at that hour, a body should never get up in the middle of a perfectly good night. If you follow the chronology that I had proposed for myself above, you note that before I would have even left for work, I would have done nearly FOUR hours of activities before going to work. What was I thinking?

I’ll let you in on a little secret: I never enacted that schedule. And, I won’t be brainstorming such a schedule to enact in 2016 today, either. Last year around this time I wrote about not making resolutions; as this year closes, I have been thinking, as we are wont to do this time of year. In the course of this thinking, I have realized something: I can finally sleep in the middle of the bed.

Mind you, have been single for almost seven years. Until this past year, I would only occasionally sleep in the middle of the bed. Now, that whole thing is mine.  (And, of course, now I have a dog who wants to share it.) The point here, though, is that we need to fully inhabit all parts of our lives to be who we are meant to be and be comfortable with ourselves.

Last week, a friend asked me what things I like to do for myself. I like to swim laps, meditate, walk, and write for my own benefit. Thenhappy list he asked how often I do those things. Um. Haven’t swum in a year or more. I meditate and walk regularly, but my writing has not been as robust as it could be. My friend and I wondered aloud why people don’t do what makes them feel good.  We all need to sleep in the middle of the bed.

Maybe you do like a horrifically early workout; you might want to read more; maybe it’s time to sell a too big house; perhaps you want to learn to box (I’m doing that this week!); maybe jettison a festering, putrid friendship; or, pursue a bright new relationship. Whatever are your ideas for doing what you like – don’t wait. Why make yourself wait to feel good?  Now is the time.

Schedules, resolutions, and goals – oh my. We all need to do what works  – just make sure it is right for you– not what the world or a well-meaning friend or guilt or regret says.  No need to wait to pursue happiness. And, remember:  sleep in the middle of the bed.

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